MathsLexia...

Once upon a time every child that was born was to be sent to a kingdom called “Studies”.
The truth being that the parents were given an irresistible offer of a healthy life after the visit to Studies.

So, a petite child of 3 yrs, Raji, was sent away everyday to “Studies”. But the kingdom had an underlying rule. Every person who came to Studies had to visit every princely state under its jurisdiction.

So, Raji first walked into the state named “English”. She immediately fell in love with the people there. There were only 26 people. They all mingled with each other to form different groups. Those 26 people immediately registered in Raji’s mind, so she never had a problem understanding what each group meant. All the 26 people pampered Raji. They followed only two traditions, “Grammar” and “Vocabulary”. Which she started to understand well.

One windy afternoon Raji was summoned to visit a far princely state called “MathsLand”. Excited about getting to know more people and traditions she packed her bag and marched into MathsLand. For the first time she was excited because there she met only ten people. Funny people they were, as they spoke a language other than that from in English. But being a dedicated girl she tried to understand their language. During her first visits she was introduced to only 4 customs, addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. She happily learnt about them.

But the truth was however hard she tried; she could not comprehend their language.
She smelled trouble one fine day. A new clan of 9 people had come to live in Mathsland. The trouble was they looked exactly the same as the original 9 people but had exactly opposite traits. She kept getting confused as to who was who The clan called itself “negative numbers”. They spoke a slightly different language than the positive clan. This was when Raji realized that it was going to spell doom for her.

The inclusion of the new people led to many changes in the 4 traditions to accommodate the traits of negative clan. Raji was left dumbfounded. She began attending carefully all the traditions. But when people of the opposite clan came together in one, she started getting confused. That was the start of Raji’s woes in Mathsland.

The “numbers”, as the people fondly called themselves, believed in innovation. Raji found it difficult to keep up with them. They kept introducing her to new clans. She met clan called brackets.

The different clans led to casteism. In order to survive she had to keep in mind the order of importance of every caste before performing any tradition. Brackets enjoyed the highest priority. Gradually Raji started loosing interest.
Visitng English land was her get away to happiness. But she had to keep coming back to Mathsland.

Every time she revisited they would have introduced another new custom, which she had to adhere too. She had to follow algebra, arithmetic, and geometry. She believed in Geometry a lot. But all other customs were imposed upon her. Arithmacy was the worse. It had too many rituals that she could not comprehend. Speed, time, distance, work, people, percentage etc.
Sobbing in her bed, she decided to stop visiting MathsLand. But she was struck with horror when she read the fine print in the pact with Studies, she would never be able to leave Studies till she was aware of all the customs in every princely state.

For 22 years she was tormented, tortured whenever she visited MathsLand. But she dragged along to serve the pact with Studies.
The impact was so horrendous that the petite girl always remained that way. Petite!
The sun rose and happiness bloomed one beautiful morning when the pact was coming to an end.
She had enjoyed her stay in Studies though. Although Mathsland tortured her but all other states treated her with care and love.
She was tempted by an offer from Studies that by serving Studies for another few years she could live a more happy life.
For a few days she gave in to the temptation. But then the fear of MathsLand was so deeply etched in her mind that she never came to terms with extending the pact.

2005 was the end of that pact.
Raji lived happily everafter.

After watching TZP happy realization struck me – I might have (or rather I still possibly) suffer from Mathslexia!!! (yeah! I made up the word)

Arithmetic is where numbers fly like pigeons in and out of your head. ~Carl Sandburg,

As A Kid...

-- AS A Kid(AAK) I wondered how actors in songs changed into clothes so fast… I believed they had layers of clothes inside and that when they show flowers or scenery is when they change (thank god Raji was not making movies... Imagine the plight of actors…. Layers of clothes!!!)

-- AAK I liked to drape in mum’s saari (now, finding me even in a salwar kurta is difficult). Then I didn’t know how to fold them properly so I would dump them for washing and be happy that mum never found out about my fetish. (But hey she knew about it from saari 1. Good Lord!!! She recently scolded me that I was better a “girl” as a kid rather than now. She left me dumbfounded. Mum’s know everything I guess)

-AAK I was crazy about ice-cream (pretty normal, huh!!). Once we got 2 chocolate family packs (yummy). One was kept for my younger brother and one for me. To avoid any confusion we placed the two packs in such a way that the one on top was mine. Being greedy smarty-pants, I used to eat mine and steal a spoonful from my brothers. Very recently I giggled about this with Vicky (my bro). He laughed his head off. He used to steal from mine, gobble up a lot from his and then exchange it with mine when mine was more. (What a rip off!!! That 9-yr-younger turned out smarter)

-- AAK summers were not really on my favorite list (even after a decade it has not made way into my list). I had a deep found liking for academics (after a decade this liking promptly walked out on me… ditcher!!!). So, during study times if the electricity decided to vanish, and the temperatures began to sore, I would walk into the bathroom with my books and a chair. Fill the tub (not a bath tub per say, the wide buckets would be precise) with water and sit inside it. Raise my legs on to the chair and hold the book in my hand. That way I could beat the heat and study coolly. (As a grown up, if I had held on to half the dedication I probably would have been…. (well…no clue what)) lol.

-- AAK I kinda walked on the paths of Sweety from Hum Paanch (she used to sing before opening doors). The moment the bell rang I would crawl under the bed in the hall and keep hoping to have guests (I loved guests then… weird weird). When my wish was granted I would creep in and tickle the feet of whoever it was. Whoa!!! They would be scared to their wits ends!!! And jump of the bed. Lol. I would be in splits. My mum joined me in my prank, but only when relatives or close friends visited. It was quite a treat for me. But had to give it up soon as everybody got used to it. As they say, “khushiyan do pal ki mehman hai” (drama queen)

-- AAK I had a wild beast taking care of me. Well it was a maid my mum had hired. Creeps!!! I was one scared child then. She used to tie me up and put soap in my eyes. She used to drop me in the water drum, when it had water left till my waist, She never drowned me though, how lucky could I be!!! All this torture if I negated to have food. (How about making Psycho Part 3???). I was blackmailed at such a ripe age that if I told mum she would again put me in the drum. Yeah, I know, had I told mum she would have fired her. But I guess my common sense had drowned in the drum (I never got it back…) then one day, her marriage was fixed and she left. How I love marriages since a child!!! Lol. Later, I revealed all the dark things and mum was shocked. Since then, no maids in our house. Hurray!!!

-- AAK I was scared to tears by the sound of the pressure cooker (What a Phattu Girl). The instant the realization striked that the cooker was on its way to whistle, I used to run out of the house and wouldn’t come back till it was done. The fear moved on I must confess. But I still ponder why did a whistle spook me?

-- AAK I hated to wear pants or shorts (have you anything else in your wardrobe anymore, girl?). Once while visiting my aunt I planned to stay over. As destiny had planned it I was not carrying my cute-girl-dresses. So my aunt dressed me up in my cousins’ shorts and t-shirt. And that day hell broke loose!!! What I pandemonium I created. But my dress was out for washing. I covered up myself in a blanket and wouldn’t come out of it the whole day.!!! Lord I was such a nut!!! (some things I presume...Don’t change…Lol)

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. ~Walt Streightiff