KRA zee zee Y (Crazy)

***Anything For Love***
This is the ultimate example of my love for Shahid Kapur and the heights of imagination.
*** Ready-steady-imagine ***


1. I will enroll into Shaiamak Dawar’s dance classes. Soon. I will be spotted as the “wow” dancer (its just imagination..so do not smirk). One day Shiamak himself will come to the class and spot me (wild wild dreams). Soon I will be among his few lead dancers (along with being employed with my current firm and being paid form both ends.). For, this one particular show, where obviously Shahid dances, we would be the dancers. But as GOD (or maybe I) would want it, the girl supposed to dance with Shahid will sprain her leg (Poor poor her). Then Shiamak would come running to me to take her place, which I would graciously accept as a sincere student and not out of craze for Shahid Kapur ( whom are you kidding girl). The moment we start dancing together Shahid would look into my eyes and fall in love with me as if we were meant to be together, forever. But with the hustle bustle backstage we leave. Unable to stop thinking about me, he checks out my whereabouts with Shiamak(ofcourse).

*** To reach the last scene I have imagined a few ways. The last though remains the same. So, the last scene at the end***

2. Me with a few friends would start our own restaurant business. (at least sounds more reasonable than being the lead in Shaimak’s group). And as destiny would have it, the restaurant would be a hit and visited by the crème-de-la-crème. (shahid obviously falling into that category). Once when he visits Pune, he would decide to come to dine at our restaurant (I am already getting goose bumps.. Shy). As a responsible person (responsible and you?.. hahhahah) I would obviously go to check out if our guest is having a good time and during our formal but pleasant conversation Shahid would be blown over by me (yeah who else… Creep). Unable to stop thinking about me, he would call the restaurant the next day and get my whereabouts.

3. For some weird reason (tell me something I don’t know… you are weird girl), I would move to Bombay (that’s weird coz I am, again, for some weird reason not interested in going to Bombay). Again, for some weird reason my organization would have free memberships for its employees in the Gym, where obviously Shahid works out (now I get the point of all the weird reasons). Hip Hip Hurray! And again for some weird reason we would be at the Gym at the same time. For another weird reason one fine day all the trainers decide to bunk (yeah ..that’s weird too). And me, this innocent novice at workouts, would be wondering what to do, when for some weird reason, Shahid would approach me and help me with working out. Then he obviously would be blown over by me (that’s for obvious reasons… not weird). Then again for some weird reason I move back to Pune the next day. Unable to stop thinking about me, he would check out my whereabouts from the Gym, (which now obviously has my details)

4. (The least my imagination has run is with this). For our organization’s annual day function, the guest of honor would be Shahid Kapur. As the stars(of the sky) would have planned it, I would be nominated for an award, which I would obviously win and would receive from Shahid (eyes rolling). Then we would have a party with all the winners and Shahid (my dil goes mmm). And after having a nice chat, he would (the best part) be blown over by me (blown over by me? it sounds so easy. hahah). . Unable to stop thinking about me, he would call up the organizers the next day and check out my whereabouts.

5. (This one would sound like I have gone bonkers) Shahid has recurring dreams about his last life, where he and his sweetheart were not able to have a life together.(Ye Zaalim duniya ki reet). (that dreams the reason why Kareena and he broke off finally.. yeah.. now we get the reason). In his dreams, the first time he saw his sweetheart would be in a temple (cliché at its best). The girl clad in a blue salwar kurta with the dupatta on her head, heading down from the stairs. He is standing at the foot of the temple. She is walking down the stairs. At God.s will the wind blows and take her dupatta with it. The dupatta lands on him. (Creep. Raji cant get any worse). He turns to look and his eyes rest on her. Its love at first sight. That was the past life. In this life, the girl’s in a blue denim and tshirt, with a scraf on her head (yeah that’s me). The GOD’s will is again at work taking the white scarf with it. Then history repeats and its love at first sight. Plus it is an answer to his dreams. The girl of his dreams (just a little modernized). As I walk past, my office ID card falls off (nothing unusual there... I am that clumsy). . Unable to stop thinking about me, he would call up my firm and check out my whereabouts.

Phew!!! That’s quite a few ways to reach Shahid. I sincerely pray to the Lord that the “Law of Attraction” works.

Last Scene: (Assumption: he knows all about me now)
From then on, everyday that I reach office there is a big bouquet waiting for me, from anonymous (adding the mystery angle to hypothetical scenes... lol). This goes on for a week. Then one Monday morning as I walk towards my work place, I see a lot of people gathered. A crowd, basically. The moment I walk towards the crowd, they make way for me. The whole reception is decorated with flowers. My photos running through all the LCD’s in the reception. As I stand there amazed, Shahid walks towards me (he is wearing the outfit he wore in Mauja Hi Mauja… mush-mush). I am spell bound (obviouslyyyyyyyyy). He walks up to me, bends down and proposes me (even writing this makes me wanna jump up and down……..aaaaaaaaaaa shout). I nod in affirmative. He picks me up and we run away to living happily ever after. (let the lord bless my dreams)

(well I might as well have added this in the “Day Dreams” post. Giggle)

First you build your castles in the air, then you build the foundations under them.” - Henry David Thoreau
(my castle is ready… there is no raw material available to build a foundation beneath this crazy castle.. lol)

Day Dreams

I step out and pull on the robe of anything I want to be.
Painting a picture of all that my heart fantasizes.
I crown myself the beautiful princess in the white robe,
Whom the knight pulls on his horse galloping away to the faraway land.

I put on my dancing shoes with the cute pink dress.
Like a graceful ballerina I dance to my hearts content.
The stage is exuberant with every move I make.
My body swaying to the music like I own the world.

That VJ takes me to the land of MTV or channel V,
Where I am the coolest hippest girl, yapping all the way.
The Miss. India fits me into her flowing gown, where
I am ready with prompt repartee, people applauding for me.
The stunning actress pulls me into the most dramatic scene,
I play the part with panache and drama right away

I paint my own pictures, I sing my own songs
I come back to my world where I am my parent’s princess;
Waiting for my knight in shining armor.
I dance my heart out to all the music that plays.
I yapp away with my friends who believe I am cool.
I try to rack my brains for the wittiest response;
Sometimes its bulls eye sometimes I am such a fool.
The actress in me keeps dramatizing the way I speak,
Sometimes with hands and sometimes it’s the face.

Day dreams, painting 1000 colors with one stroke.
Day dreams, singing the same song with a different tune.
Day dreams, dancing to the same number with different moves.
Day dreams, a playground for the imagination to run wild.
Day dreams, a solace in boring lectures and meetings.

All religions will pass, but this will remain: simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance. ~V.V. Rozanov

Cheers to LOVE ....

Living in a long distance is not easy for them either. She remains more concerned with the fact that he has to live alone. He, always the shy person. She, a non-stop chatterbox. Both, totally in love with each other.

The distance never got between them. Every now and then he picks up the phone and dials his sweetheart. She follows the ritual too. By the end of the day calling each other at least 10-15 times a day. Phew!!! I guess they are a weird couple. Not the long lasting conversations but the small tit bits. But that is the substitute for not being able to see each other every single day. Let me clear a fact here. Even when they were not distanced they called each other at least 5 times a day. Of all the humongous number of calls that they made, by the time they dozed off at least one “I Love You” has to be exchanged. No exception there.

He suffers form motion sickness to a very large extent. But even when he has a single holiday he rushes where his heart is. Traveling 3 hrs by bus to just watch that gorgeous face. That face which makes his heart still skip a beat. For you and me 3 hrs wouldn’t be a big deal. But when he reaches the doorstep all he does is fall down into the bed and relax. All this for being able to be with her.

It’s a Sunday morning; she as usual wakes up to her morning ablutions and is now in the kitchen preparing a healthy breakfast for her love, who she for some weird reason believes always comes from a place where there is draught. Coz the whole day, if she is not smothering him with love then she is filling him with food. Aaah!!!

The sleepy eyed man wakes up and rushes off to the kitchen, tip toes in there grabs her from behind and pecks her. And what a triumphant look he has in his eyes. Depending on her moods she plays her reaction. On a joyfully naughty mood she will push him aside and will act pricey. With the spoon or knife whichever she holds in her hands she will growl at him and ask him to keep his hands to himself. He being accustomed to this will just pull her towards him once more. She wanting exactly the same. And both burst into a fit of laughter.(What’s so funny I don’t understand.)

The whole day she will fuss about him.

In the evening they just sit besides each other with the cup of tea and watching nothing and everything on TV. Even when that’s all they are doing you could sometimes catch him playing with her hair. Or just curling his finger through her finger. (A plain act which synonyms to their feelings for each other.)

On their anniversary, they still surprise each other. A gift both will never forget. They totally love what the other person gets for them. Although very aware that they get it every time for each other, even then their faces light up when they see the gifts. (Children I tell you!!!)
He still takes her out for dinners (read date). But from the time he moved to a new place she will feed him only home made goodies (I told you she believes he lives in a draught place)

The totally amazing part being they don’t fight. They just don’t fight. The routine complaints of girls “He doesn’t call. He doesn’t message. He doesn’t pay attention”. No Chance. Well he doesn’t give her that opportunity. He loves adoring her. She loves taking care of him. They totally understand each other’s moods. They know when to leave alone or when to give a hug. They respect each other’s individuality and space. And they totally love each other too.

They have been living in a long distance for the past 5 years now. But still going strong. They love each other for the past 26 years. Yes that’s the time they have spent. The romance still steady like a couple just fallen in love.
Cheers to Mom n Dad!!!

I have debates with friends who think that love is crap. Marriage a pain or whatever words they can use it to abuse it.
But I still believe. How couldn’t I? The 2 people who have influenced me the most are so much in love, so romantic. And they never ever fight (that’s something I still don’t get). There is no way I am going to believe those people who haven’t been in love, let alone marriage.

Love you mom n dad.
Kuddos to Love…

True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist, Nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

Mom Me and Milk

Piyu doodh for healthy reason ; Peeyo doodh in every season
Rahego fir fit n fine ; jeeyoge past ninety nine.. doodh doodh..

An awesome number to promote milk. And why not maybe milk is really good for health. I am betting on calcium (My guess)

But in the story of the 3 M’s (Mom me and milk) the song would go this way:
Don’t peeyo doodh to give mamma tension; don’t peeyo doodh till she gives u all the reasons
Mamma ko peeche bhagaao to keep her fit n fine; peeyo only to make mamma smile.. doodh doodh doodh doodh
(ok that’s not a masterpiece at lyrics… so what)

At my place the story of 3M’s was read out every night (mornings used to be hectic...Mom didn’t have the time). It was simple. A glass of milk (made sure that there aint any of the “Malai” thing floating ) in mum’s hand and me refusing to drink it for “n” number of reasons. I eventually did gulp it down my throat. But not once did I drink it without giving my mum reasons to ask GOD “what did I ever do to have a child like this?” But every night she still came back with that Milk and I acted like the most spoilt child (that didn’t need much acting though).

She used to cajole me into drinking it, shout at me, and just stand right in front without saying a word. I used to be so amazed at her patience and perseverance and once I also said “Mom, if I was the mother of such a child I would have turned the glass of milk onto her head.” She stood there furious, and if a look could kill I would be dead then.

I still do it every time I go home. And she still keeps talking me into drinking Milk. My friends say I am a sadist (they too exaggerate).
The truth is that small war we had was fun (maybe I do sound like a sadist). It was a ritual at home. Today when I do the drama she smiles and stands in front of me, knowing what I am up to. But in the past she definitely lost her cool, but never backed off.
I guess that’s being a mother.

I guess, however cliché it might sound, but Mother’s are a masterpiece designed by GOD. I am curious how that new life turns a girl into a person, a perfect person. She has gotto know so much. I believe raising a kid is the job, which requires the most dedication, and one cannot take a break or a vacation from Momhood. Mom’s just do it so well. Every single need she fulfills. Even when we complain, we fight with her, coz we believe she doesn’t understand us. Well we do grow up, we build our own views. And differences do happen. But even today, for me, the most comfort I get is in her lap. I can’t imagine a world without her.
But even today we read the story of Mom, me n Milk whenever I go home.

What I feel for you
How you make me feel
All the bruises that you mend
The way all my emotions you can tell
When you sat by my side all night long
All the little stories that you tell
The patience with which you hear everything I have to say
All the poems you sat and made me learn
Every thing you scold me for
Every thing you appreciate me for
The talks you have with me
All my stupidities that you laugh at
For every time you giggle with me
All the war of words that you stand;
Still not once you judge me,
Realizing that I never mean all that I say.
All the things you stop me from doing
The faith you show in me
The trust you ask me to deserve
All the care in the world that you shower
A kind of love only you can offer
I thank you Maa for making me your world
All the things you do, every word you say
Even if I act ignorant, it means a lot to me.

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon

...RaJi...

So today I am gonna write (read Boast) about myself. (Hail Raji).
Naah!!! I am too modest to do that (Yaaa right (Snort)… Wake up Sleepy Head)
Just wanted some post to be titled with my name. This was the best opportunity.
Well, coming back to the point.

What’s in a Name???

The whole drama is going to revolve around my name or basically this is a dedication to all those people who have a “Different” (hatke) name.

God definitely didn’t bless me with a face that’s a head turner (now I am doing down right self abashing…Phew) but to make it up my Parents blessed me with an eyebrow raiser name. And the name is Raji… Raji Rajan.(Does James Bond rhyme??? )

Half of the population wonders what my name means.
According to my parents: The one who rules (I loooove the meaning)
According to a website: Originally a short form of any of the various names containing the element raja (king, sovereign), Raji is also bestowed as an independent given name. (Also, it says it’s a girl’s name… Bless You)
According to another website: Name of KING (It’s a male name… Dhishum Dhishum)

In a terse phrase it means ROYAL. (Oooo Lala… )

Every time any body asks me my name and I say Raji the following cases occur:
Case 1: huh?
Case 2: Raised eyebrow
Case 3: Nice Name (a polite way to say that’s different) accompanied by what does it mean.
Case 4: Come again (believing that they misunderstood what I said)
Case 5: Is this your NAME or is it a shorter version of something like RAAJESHWARI.
Case 6: Assume they hear Prachi or Rachi or something that rhymes or some word which fits into their vocabulary.
Non-existent Case: Normal reactions or basically no reactions

And every time someone is writing down my name I have to spell it coz most of the time they fall in Case 6 and would pen down something totally not-my-name.

To make myself clear, I am not cribbing. I love my name. And every different name does trigger a pulse in every person. Coz when one says a name, which fits into people’s vocab it just registers. For an unusual name to register it first triggers a response then it registers. Hurray. (Modest Raji at work) (Psst Psst … A secret... It isn’t that unusual down south)

The name has the following comments attached to it:
1. “Raji” aint a word. It’s just a sound. A weird sound. (Murder Murder Murder)
2. (Beat this) Raji cannot be a name. During your naming ceremony the moment your grand mom was about to say your name she sneezed, Aaachhiii, and your parents mistook it for Raaaji. And hence you are called so. It can’t be a word. (Murder? Naah!!! Too smart)
3. Raji. It feels like I only say half the name. Incomplete type of a word. It feels as though I am saying your name and half way through I lost my voice. (Where the hell do they come with this from… )
4. Raji resulted in a lot of people calling me Bhaaji.
5. Many a times my call letters, or documents have had my gender being mentioned as Male if people haven’t seen me. The client I interact with though I am a male till I corrected her. Rather till she heard my voice.

And Shakespeare asked what’s in a name. There is sooooo much in a name!!! But, only if you have been privileged with a different name. (Ha! )

What's in a name? That which we call a roseBy any other name would smell as sweet.~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
(couldn’t find a better quote than this)

Lost Touch

They made me smile a lot
On silly jokes we giggled together
Fun and frolic was always our company.
Today they are my distant memories.
I lost touch. I never tried.

School days that we all cherish
Was special coz we all were together
The lunch boxes the games, in heart forever.
Today they are my distant memories
I lost touch. I never tried.

We shared our first brush with love
The first heart breaks, the next crush
Advising each other, when half of the things were unclear
Today they are my distant memories
I lost touch. I never tried.

The growing up is worth cherishing
Coz they gave different colors to my life.
What more could I ask from my college days.
Today they are my distant memories.
I lost touch. I never tried.

We always welcome friends into our life
With a smile and a song in the heart
With promises of friendship forever
Some old friends we stick to,
With new friends making way, we walk away
Never looking back, never trying,
With a bunch of excuses, some become a part of our memories.

When a small hi, a simple good night
Is all that was ever needed.
A birthday wish, a how are you
A call that means hey I remember you.
An sms indicating I still think about you.
How simpler could being friends forever be?

Today they are my distant memories.
I lost touch. I never tried.
I cherish those memories that have made my life colorful.
I will get in touch. I will try to mend.
A few simple things I would do.
Coz friends forever I want to be.

Memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. ~Edward de Bono

Crush-a-thon ;)

My Teen Crush-a-thon

I assume that every(normal)body has a crushistory. For me every next crush was history repeating itself. He is sooooo cute… that was it. Then drool drool and fir jaao bhool(that sounds cool… lol). Crushing is exuberant fun and super crazy. I had levels of crushing:
Level 1: The moment THE CUTE GUY(TCG) is visible, eyes pop out and face lights up with the 440w smile. The moment out of sight, it’s out of mind. And I don’t know him personally.
Level 2: Finding THE CUTE GUY(TCG) irresistible and devising ways to get to know him, and succeeding in the endeavor. Then every time you bump into each other and he talks, the dil goes mmmmmmm mmmmmmmm mmmmm….
Level 3: Now this is serious business. THE CUTE GUY(TCG) is a friend. Hanging around with him half of the time. To top it, every time he talks, the dil goes dhoom dham dhishum… (mm mmm seems sooo insignificant then)

Well I guess the next level stops being a part of the Crush business it’s taken over by the LOVE department. I am saving it for some later post. Lol.

Some teeny-weeny things, that, I did during my teeny Crushlife. My parents knew every entry in my Crush-List (supportive parents I must say).

- In my college there was TCG, a senior. He was handsome, definitely. Once in lunch break I was raving about him to my friends. And for some silly/weird reason I was walking backwards babbling about TCG. Suddenly a few of my friends started giggling and a few had their eyebrows raised. Before I knew what it was, Dhadaaam!!! I bumped into TCG. Whoa!!!! Sorry’s were exchanged (what a gentleman he was… even he said sorry and asked me if I was hurt (blush blush all the way)). My friends couldn’t hold their laughter (jerks). I couldn’t contain my thrill(Duh). Later, I narrated the whole incident to anyone and everyone who would bother to listen. (May God Bless Me with a few more collisions with TCG…)

- I was lurking around with Neha(me and neha studied in different colleges) on college road (a place) where I happened to spot TCG (another senior). I wouldn’t stop staring (read ogling). He and his friend happened to notice (tumne notice kiya!!! kaafi tej ho.. hahahha). So, now TCG turned his bike and was approaching towards us (my heart beats racing) when he spotted Neha and realized that Neha happened to be his friends sister(Neha’s sis was in my college). He sped away with his bike! Damn!!! Me and Neha were in splits laughing. Plus, we didn’t forget to mention this small incident to her sis. Her sis rewarded me with some snaps of TCG. Bless Her!!!

- My parents were fed up of listening to moments with TCG (a friend in school n college). We used to hang out with the same set of friends. He was playing with a silly stick (the stick of a broom!!!!!!!!!!). Started poking me with it. When I caught it, he snatched it away saying “This is my lucky stick”. A while later he forgot about his lucky charm, which I promptly slid in my bag. I flaunted that prized possession at home and kept it in my cupboard. One fine day I come to my cupboard to see that Mom has cleaned up all the mess. I went bonkers when I couldn’t locate that Lucky-Charm stick. To soothe me, my dad came up and started searching for it. Finally he found it for me and handed it saying “Here. Now keep it safe” (that’s what I call a cool dad). I kept that stick safe for a pretty long time. (That’s how crushy-feely I could get).

- I had the habit of sleeping in the evening and studying at night. My mom made sure nothing disturbs me. One fine evening TCG decides to call me, about whom my mom obviously knows. She actually came to wake me up. When I refused to open my eyes, she said “Look its TCG calling, I don’t want you to have a fit when you wake up and realize that you missed the call” (aint my mom cool too). What an instant awakening it was. Ran to pick up the phone. And what a conversation it was. He had called for no reason (that was the best part). After he hung up I just sat there dreamily. My bro and mum amazed at how silly one could be. Then I promptly got up and penned down the entire conversation onto paper in dialog form (patience huh). I don’t remember the count as to how many times I read that thing (That was the impact a call had on me… Duh Me)

- Now this was really lame of me to do. But I used to give missed calls to TCG. This was way back in junior college. And then I didn’t know the concept of caller id’s (Damn). Now we end up together in senior college and for some weird reason in the same class (which then I though was some sign by GOD… whoa!! ) . He was sitting right behind me in class. The guy sitting beside him decides to bring up the topic of missed calls (I still hate him), and then TCG laughs(devil in disguise) and says “Hey Raji, you used to give me missed calls. Hahahah”. (Help Help Help!!! ). I soooooooooo wanted to disappear(GOD didn’t listen to me then). The look on my face, according to my friend was priceless. It goes down in my list of “The Most Embarrasing Moments”.
- 6 of us friends crushed on the same guy. In junior college the attendance sheet used to be passed. We always made it a point to paint a heart in front of his name. And used to giggle all the time looking at his expression. Hardly did we know that all the guys in the class knew our little secret. Once in senior college I made a friend who happened to know about this. That was when it dawned that it was not we who were laughing at him, but all the guys who were laughing at us. (I guess I have made a fool of me umpteen number of times).

There were loads of other things: hating that girl, with whom TCG spoke often, yapping about the latest TCG to my friends, turning red when TCG complimented (this happened to be a rare phenomena), dealing with a spoilt mood because of some silly reason related to TCG, remembering all the clothes he wore, going nuts when we wore the same shade of clothes (silly silly me)... and a lot more.

It was an amazing thing an amazing feeling. It was super fun too.

The Crushy feeling could be described as:

“I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know even if just for a second, I crossed your mind.”

When he's around, my whole body knows it. I'll keep talking and stuff, but my mind will have no idea what I'm saying, I keep wondering if there's a term for this.

Cheers to Crushing!!!