Compliments and Criticism

I, like everybody else, have had my share of compliments and criticisms. With the compliments side weighing more.  This is not about looks.

Maybe I live in delusion, but growing up I recall basking in glory and I don’t have any memory of criticism. Its either true or my memory has chosen to not dwell on it. 

I have this realization, as a mother, I appreciate my daughter for her small acts. I don’t put her down for any of the stuff I deem as wrong, but try to explain why she should not be doing it (at times I lose my patience too)

As adults we don’t appreciate each other enough for the people that we have grown up to be and for the people we might be growing up to be. But we are quick to find a fault, and most often we choose not to tell the person and maybe bitch about it.

Why?

Criticisms are not easy to give. And also there is the “perspective” factor. So what I deem as wrong maybe right for the other person.  I have received my share of criticisms, some straight on my face and some not so obvious. Have I always been receptive? No. Have I been defensive? Yes. But eventually I have been able to filter out some stuff and see that maybe a certain part of me needs some maintenance work.

But why not compliments?

Everyone likes one. We don’t appreciate our partners or our close people enough. The most compliments are about looks. But what about the characteristics we appreciate in others?  Who wouldn’t like to hear it? Maybe we have become too cynical and don’t see the good in others or we are too insecure to point it out. Or maybe we just don’t see the need to point out the obvious.

I have recently had my fair share of compliments, and I can say it makes a difference in how I feel about myself. Not that I was under any stress and needed uplift, but that simple act added so much energy to me. It adds a spring to my step and overall it lifts my spirits up. It’s a motivator.

One of the reasons, why best friends stick together, they always point out the obvious good things. Neha Pallavi do that to me and I am eternally grateful for the positive energy they keep pushing into my life.

I do compliment people around me. But I am going to ensure when I spot something that I like, I voice it. It might make a small difference to the other person.

 “I can live for two months on a good compliment” Mark Twain